COSH Bowl VI - Snotlings

It was COSH time again - 1 day / 4 game tournament held at 4TK in Colchester run as usual by SCS.Sam and Myrmedon. I had painted these Snotlings back in the summer of 2021, but hadn't actually fielded them in a tournament to date, so despite my better instincts (and not having even started to paint a 3rd edition metal Amazon team that I had originally intended to take) I got them out of their storage box and tried to come up with a roster.

Stunty teams were the only roster with a star player available to them, but the ruleset didn't allow for any particular tier to be overpowered. There were 18 coaches taking part and was very well supported/sponsored by Cymbeline Games (check them out!).

Lots of nice dice from Cymbeline Games hidden by white stickers!

I wasn't sure what to take, but went with 2x Pump Wagons with Guard, 2x Block Trolls, 2x Stilty Runners with Sure Feet, and 2x Snotlings with Sneaky Git, as well as Hakflem to do all that stuff with the ball. I did have 2x Bribes, but I suspected I would be playing 2nd halves without them! The only thing left to do was set them up on Tourplay and give them a team name... The Last Picks... appropriate as clearly they were so bad at Blood Bowl they were always last to be picked... and they are Snotlings... small and green... you get the idea! 😏

The only other Snotling team on the day to Morg'n'Thorg, and strangely enough ended with Most Casualties!

Note to the reader: This is going to be a pretty brief write up as 4 matches in a day & playing a team I hadn't coached on table top before & all the frantic dice rolling meant my notes weren't exactly plentiful - however, it was only a couple of days ago so the pain is still fresh! 😬 I normally record injuries as I went but I simply couldn't keep up - so I've ditched that for this report!

Game One vs Jon's Dwarves & Deathroller

ACK!!! - Dwarves... First game of the tournament with Strength 1 Armour 6+ players versus AV9 Block/Tackle... This wasn't going to be painful! He had also brought a Deathroller... with +2 Dirty Player and a bribe... ouch!

The Dragon Valley Boyo'z face up (and look down) to the Snotlings

The Tourplay did the weather roll (Perfect weather), and I had more fans, but lost the kick off roll and was asked to kick. I forgot "Swarming" where you roll D3 after the kick but before the kick off table roll, and it was Cheering Fans. My 2 cheerleaders came in useful and I got Ironhide (+1 av) on a Pump Wagon.. may be useful with a Dwarf Str7 Dirty Player on the pitch! 

The ball landed on the left hand wing, and the Deathroller set about blitzing a Pump Wagon which was knocked prone... phew! The Dwarves collected the ball and set about thrusting down the left wing into my half as my defence fell apart with Pump Wagons and Trolls being Really Stupid despite assists, and any successful blitz's I did being pushes, and a Fun Hopper failing a dodge and hurting himself (only inflicted casualties counted). 

I did get a few hits on the Deathroller... I wanted it off the pitch and when it looked clear I couldn't stop the dwarven score. I tried fouling with assists and still no joy, only to lose players in return. The Dwarves scored 0-1 in turn 7/8 and 2 of 4 players returned from their knock outs... but no injuries suffered so far!! I had done well to protect the Snotlings!

For turn 8 I managed to roll a 2+ on the argue the call but had to use a bribe to restore the team to 11 players on the field, with a Pump Wagon sat in the Reserves box for the second half. The Death Roller bribe was used and also sat in the Reserves box.

I set up and was looking all good to go on a Throw Team Mate, but Hakflem 1'd the pick up and failed the loner reroll. Ho hum.

The second half began with me remembering swarming, getting 2 players... And this was possible with more KO recoveries! With Brilliant Coaching I got a bonus reroll. The half started well with a Snotling unexpectedly catching the ball, a Troll hurting a Linedwarf (1-0), and the Snotling completing a hand off to Hakflem. The Dwarves countered with a Deathroller blitz, proning a Pump Wagon again, and we just managed to push the Deathroller in return.

A Pump Wagon hurt another Linedwarf (2-0) but then the injury-flood-gates opened up on the Snotlings and we started losing players VERY quickly to injuries and Knock Outs. Despite this we managed to delay a score in turn 6/5 to make it 1-1 (2-3), leaving the Dwarves three turns to score.

Both Pump Wagons were now off the field, and Brilliant Coaching giving me another bonus reroll and the ball landed near the centre (Swarming irrelevant by this point!)... but... some how... and I'm really not sure how, but we rode our luck and managed to hold on for the draw. We were had to play pretty fast to hit the match deadline... fairly easy when there are significantly fewer players to move!

The match ended 1-1 (2-3) and 17 points on the board for me... against Dwarves!! And that, fair reader is where the day should have stopped!! 

That being said, in the race for the Stunty Cup, both the Ogre coach and the other Snotling coach (VultureSquadron) started their games off with a loss... so... not so bad then. But no. It disintegrated from here...

Game Two vs Mr_Frodo's Necromantic

Leon 😎 and his Necromantic team

Andrew had just played friend, league-mate and Team Redshirts member HowlingGriffon in round one and was now playing me (another Team Redshirts member) in round 2. At least he hadn't travelled far for this one though! Mr_Frodo had brought Necromantic with 2x Block Werewolves, 2x Wrestle Ghouls and a blodging/sidestepping Wraith and a couple of Guards.

It's Astounding's blitzing Werewolf moving in on Hakflem after hurting a Runner

We had equal fans in Perfect Weather, but I lost the kick again! (I really need to win kicks with this team to stand a chance!). Andrew had recently had experience coaching Snotlings and reminded me about Swarming and that no quarter will be given. I managed to roll a 1 on Swarming. I did get a bonus reroll through Brilliant Coaching. 

It started with a Werewolf blitzing around the wing and hurting a Stilty Runner. That being said, we had a good first turn... One of my Trolls got revenge and hurt a Zombie, and a Sneaky Git foul KO'd a Golem. We rolled pushbacks for a blitz on a Werewolf and then the Necromantic team swiftly came up the field and scored early. I used a Bribe on one Pump Wagon and put the other in the Reserves box. We lost players quite quickly. A werewolf managed to dance through Titchy tackle zones and made 2 agility rolls and a single dice pow on Hakflem and stun him, but even though the ball was defended on the ground, a Snotling managed to equalise in turn 5/5 after 2+ dodging his way through picking up on a 5+ and dodging out and scoring! 1-1 (1-3). Hero!

Unfortunately, it went pear shaped from here. I forgot Swarming after the kick which would have seriously helped my defences... there was a lot going on with KO's and bribes and such to resolve and other distractions. But when I realised after the ball hand landed I got the "well, I did tell you at the start!" - He was right of course. Oh well.

Changing Weather, and the ball gusted around and the Necrons looked to pick up and charge forward. There was a great opportunity to get the ball back off the Ghoul ball carrier but Hakflem double one'd a dodge, and the Necros eagerly scored in the last turn for 1-2 (1-3).

Of course the second half began with Sweltering Heat - 3 players each! ...and Hakflem was off the field, much to the chagrin of myself and to the delight of the Necromantic team. From there however, with no star player, no Pump Wagons, and players missing from Knock Outs and injuries and the Heat, any possible defence went out the window and it was just a case of watching the Necromantic team try to increase their casualty rate, not that there was much left to hurt. The game finished with a loss, 1-3 (1-5) and 2 meagre points, and a headache to show for it, and no time to get any lunch. 

And as far as the Stunty Cup efforts were going, the other Snotling team beat up some Black Orcs, winning 2-0 and (Morg) making 6 casualties. The Ogre team lost though.

Game Three vs SCS Sams's Orcs (!)

Laptop in hand, answering rules and killing my team - all in a day's work!

I did blurt out the rhetorical question to Sam of "How the hell after two games and I facing you, Sam?". This should have been taken as a compliment, but Sam went through why, due to other results, I was facing him in particular. All I knew is that Sam had taken Orcs in the NAF Championships and done very well with them indeed. I knew I was in for a tough time!

Mean Green Pounding Machines living up to their team name!

For the second match in a row we had Perfect Weather and equal fans. I won the kick off role and opted to receive, but after rolling Officious Ref on kick off and seeing a stunned orc face planted on the pitch I realised that I had forgotten Swarming yet again. Oh FFS.

Turn 1/0 and there was a Touchback and Hakflem had the ball. After a little blocking a Sneaky Git Snotling fouled a prone Guard Big Un (Black Orc in old money!) and was Knocked Out. Not too shabby a start! Despite the Orcs inflicting some damage of their own, Hakflem (with support) made progress up the right wing. The Orc Troll tried a Throw Team Mate, fumbled, and the Goblin was Knocked Out. By turn 3/2 Hakflem was loitering in the Orc half in the right hand corner, and we Knocked Out another Big Un. However, we were forced to score by turn 4/3. 1-0 (0-1).

However, despite rolling a 2+ when arguing with the ref, one of our Bribes failed (1) and a Pump Wagon was sent off. 225k gold off the pitch in one roll! On kick off the Orc Thrower was stunned but the greenskins still made it up the field and were unstoppable as they equalised in the last turn of the half. 1-1 (0-4).

The second half began with me rolling a 1 on Argue the Call, and the bribe could not be used... the 2nd Pump Wagon was off the pitch!

With the ball in the hands of the Orc Thrower, and with support just ahead of him of 2x Orc Blitzers, we engineered a way for Hakflem to have a chance of a 1 dice blitz on the ball carrier, with some possible movement afterwards (if successful). It was my one chance to stop another loss. By this time HowlingGriffon and others were around to spectate and bear witness to my misery... Hakflem made the dodges through the half way line, past the supporting Orc Blitzer, 1x dice blitz... Skull... 4+ loner reroll passed... Skull. 😒

And the game was over. The Orcs slaughtered their way up the field and won 1-2 (0-6). Yay. 1 more point or me. 😩 The Stunty Cup was disappearing over the horizon and out of reach as the Ogres won a match and the other Snotlings lost but made 2x casualties for 2 bonus points.

Game Four vs James's Lizardmen

We meet again!... a fight for last?

James and I had played before here at COSH and the games had been fun. We briefly compared tails of woe from the day's action and agreed we were battling each other to fail hard and fast and get the wooden spoon!

The game started off Very Sunny, with James having more fans. I lost the kick off roll and kicked. The Lizards got High Kick and placed a Chameleon beneath it who spilt the ball onto the floor. However, they gathered up the ball and made a push up field. James had left himself open to a possible blitz. Hakflem of course double one'd the dodge, and the Lizardmen were very careful thereafter not to allow a gap in their defences again and also took very opportunity to gang foul Hakflem who refused to die!

We managed to hurt a Saurus Blocker (1-0) but the apothecary was used and sat safely in the Reserves box. Later James decided on a final turn move to dodge a Saurus away from a Troll to avoid that 2 dice block with Mighty Blow and Block... failed the dodge and hurt himself (no casualty counted).

The Lizards scored in turn 7/8 0-1 (1-0). I managed a 6 on an argue the call for a Pump Wagon with the other safely already in Reserves. Woot! I put both in Reserves for the 2nd half as I had just about 11 players to allow that! Nothing happened in the last turn.

Second Half - My notes were empty from here, as we had to speed up. Hakflem and some others had returned from the KO box. That was a big roll!

We managed to eventually hurt the Stand Firm Kroxigor who had absorbed all the hits (and Really Stupid attempted hits) from the Trolls and Pump Wagons. 

It was looking pretty grim for me as we received deep in my half and the press was strong from the Skinks and Chameleon and a supporting Saurus. Somehow though, with a pair of pushes/rerolled/pushes from the Chameleon, Hakflem darted away and up the right wing, only to be brought down by an assisted Skink blitz 1 dicer... The ball spilt away from the Skinks and a heroic Stilty Runner got the ball and after some covering, scored! 1-1 (2-3).

James, without rerolls, had a chance to equalise, but it was going to be unlikely... but turned out to be impossible as a 1 was rolled to handle the ball for a pass. Honours even, but James was sure the wooden spoon was coming to him... However, a new Black Orc coach managed to lose his last game, so James finished 17th out of 18, and I was 16th!

As for the Stunty Cup, the Ogres drew their last match, finishing with 1/1/2 and won the Stunty Cup. The other Snotlings lost, finishing with 1/0/3 but had achieved lots of bonus points through casualties.

Results

The final standings looked like this, with Chucklehead's Orcs won the day. Well done sir.

Final Standings

It may have come as no surprise that I had faced the 2nd, 3rd and 4th placed coaches... Strength of Schedule must count for something? Ho hum. They can thank me later with massive cash-filled envelopes! 😆 In fact Team Redshirt members finished 4th, 6th and 7th... I somewhat let the side down there!

HowlingGriffon got Best Painted for his lovely Khorne team!

I got home, put the Snotlings in a deep dark place in the cupboard and vowed never to coach them again! 😌 ... probably.

Thanks to all my opponents. I certainly learnt how to take a kicking. And thanks to Sam & Courtney for a well run tournament as usual! Well done and thank you!!